Phoo... Phoo.. Phoonk

No, that is not the SRK's famous stutter...

No, that is not mine either!

That's exactly what you do to a movie like Phoonk. Phoo... Phoo it from all comparisons. It would be considered an insult to the other movie.

So what was wrong? Too many things for me to type here. Don't have that kind of patience. So it's easier to say what was right. Right? Wrong. Cos there was nothing right about it at all!

So I guess I have no choice but to tell the wrongs. RGV I am sure you would like to read this... though it is not a complete list but it would help you in the next movie.

Kill the person who gave the sound effects. Atrocious is a nice word for it. Why? cos that man (or RGV) alone knows why an insane dog bark would come when a man is shown dead under rubble. With nothing related in sight. When all the while the only animal/bird shown is a crow! RGV's school curriculum would teach... the sound that a crow makes is "bow bow"! Not that it was even close to being a scary score. But by making it loud and jarring it only hurts a person's ear drums and not the courage to sit through a horror movie.

What's with the camera blur? With most of the scenes of the movie blurred up I actually thought it was time to give my optometrist a visit!! And yes, I do want my money back for not showing even one full sequence of scenes without a blur! Darn, what did I pay for??? RGV's school's eye testing would make it mandatory for pupil to admit they can see only with a blur or they would be given a TC! Next time he should just increase the budget and get a proper cameraman... hell I will do it for half the price!

Oh... RGV get a better set designer too (especially with the money you save hiring me). After the first 15 mins I knew there would be an eye sore all through. Every scene had an inanimate object standing in the right or left of the screen taking up up to one third of the place. So a blur plus the object... what did I actually see in the movie? Where were the actors? In the blur!

The Mohinican idols both black and white, the Giraffe (every other scene had it!), the smiley ball (on the hospital floor)... the list is endless (but my memory fails with so many mistakes to remember you can excuse an innocent soul). But for 'god only knows why' reasons RGV thinks they are better than humans on the screen!

Did I forget the monkey that had the cordless phone in his hands? It was always there... so how did it ever get charged? I know... RGV took it home after the shoot everyday :-P

And what was it with the shaking granny? Parkinson’s? Cos she was more scary than the movie itself! I am sure you have read enough about the actors so I will spare you the misery!

All in all... 115 mins of comedy show! Kids can watch it. The last 5 mins gave the movie an A certificate. More from the concept and violence point of view. With the theater filled with laughter all through, what else can I say!

BTW did RGV loose the 5 Lakh bet for people seeing it alone in the theater? I am sure he is 25 L lighter on the pocket as even a kid would have laughed his way to the bank!

Wasted money? Yes. Wasted time? Yes. Waste of a movie... you decide!

Cheers!